don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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