your parents love me but you hate me
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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