You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize