Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
