Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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