Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
