Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
