Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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