Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
