if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
