Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
