She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
