How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize