And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
