so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
