I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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