dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
