Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
