What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
