His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
