I wish my penis had an off switch
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
