I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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