if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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