what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Randomize
