Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
