Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize