She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
