I'm so fucking centered right now
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
