very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
