Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
