if you like me you must not know who I am
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
