I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
