Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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