THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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