butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
