I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize