whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize