between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize