his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
how do flat chested girls get laid?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
