I don't think brook has ever known best
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
