i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
