party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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