The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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