The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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