first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
