Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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