My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
