I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
