I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
