trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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