it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize