fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize