I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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