i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
