i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
