Do vagina's smell?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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